In Love with a Narcissist - How to Break Free and Heal

|2012-03-18 20:17:23 Narcissus vonEgo - Dysfuntcitonal

Yes, I think you hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD with that one - DYSFUNCTIONAL Narcissists seek PERFECTION, whereas FUNCTIONAL Narcissists merely seek EXCELLENCE...! There IS a difference, you know...

Of course, in saying, "I have to be me for real" and in insisting on the importance of expressing your "opinions and beliefs", you are revealing yourself to be a Narcissist, too. Good for you! Be PROUD! And I TRUST you to be a FUNCTIONAL one.

NvE
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-18 20:06:19 Narcissus vonEgo - You are correct...

I think the answer is in your question. Control. The only thing we can TRULY control is ourselves. When we TRY to control OTHERS, not only do we fail, but we often manifest the OPPOSITE.

Relationships are most often destroyed by ASSUMPTION - that is, POSSESSIVENESS and EXPECTATION. People who are miserable and stay in relationships - even when they cheat - do so out of FEAR. If someone no longer makes you happy, WALK OUT. What's keeping you in? Your "COMMITMENT"? - A wise person is ALWAYS FULLY COMMITED - to THE PRESENT! Only a FOOL 'commits' him/herself to the FUTURE. All such commitments are a LIE. They say, "I will be with you forever, even if you treat me like crap"... As soon as you NO LONGER DESIRE, WALK OUT! Are there children? The government will ensure BOTH PARENTS will financially support him/her. It's BETTER that the child grow up with only ONE parent, than in a house full of misery and fear. Of course, the BEST is for a child to grow up in a house with TWO parents and lots of LOVE. That's why you will NOT HAVE A CHILD with ANYONE until you are TRULY HAPPY with that person - and you are WILLING TO SACRIFICE your ULTIMATE HAPPINESS for that of the child's. Otherwise you're a jerkass jerkoff, and fuck off.

That which we SEEK to control AREADY CONTROLS US...
- 1
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-18 19:02:25 Narcissus vonEgo - How may I enrich your life?

Thank you for your website.

For those that don't understand, there are only TWO types of Narcissists in the World - there's the Assholes, and then there's everyone ELSE in the World. That includes you and I.

There is no-one who is not a Narcissist. There is no-one who does not act out of pure self-interest. It's not possible. Our universal perspective is uniquely ours and unavoidably so.

You are either a self-aware Narcissist, or a self-deluded one. Self-deluded ones are the most dangerous, because they actually BELIEVE the are "good"... whereas self-aware narcissists, such as myself, just AIM to be "excellent". (But of course, not ALL self-aware Narcissists are as humble as I...)

Yes, I DO care if people like me. I just DON'T CARE if they don't.

...And let's be HONEST - we like to pretend that it's AWFUL to be 'used' by a Narcissist - but we all know the truth is really the OPPOSITE - it only feels awful when a Narcissist STOPS using us...

NvE
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-09 23:01:53 RE2

Thank god i found this blog. I have been in a relationship with a N for 2.5 years.I didn't know what it was. He was so flattering at first. Then the mind games started. I'm ashamed to say i had this relationship while married. I was very lonely and now I know he knew that.I was a little older and he would say all the right things. I just saw him a couple days ago. came into town after a year. I slept with him...yuck. Right after while laying in bed he told me he had a girlfriend and she was a great person!! I hate myself for having these feeling. I burned his photos and threw everything he gave to my boys. I didn't believe that he was a N. I HAVE to know he is. I am going read everyday about N and the harm they cause. I know its not true but I do buy into his new wonderful life that he always brags about. Someone please tell me with N people that no matter what relationship their in he will eventually be the same. I feel sorry and jealous at the same time for this new woman...I do not want to feel jealous. I want to know he's full of crap!
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-17 01:22:40 Amy - to RE2

RE2,
He's full of crap. He did you wrong, and now he's doing his new girlfriend wrong. He has a new girlfriend he think is a great person, but came back to sleep with you. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes.
I ran through all the scenarios with my ex, thinking if I did things different, he would be with me, or would have treated me better. Now I'm sure even if I did anything different, the only thing that could have changed would have been him treating me badly in another way. Reading here helps, and finding out about N's other than our exes helps a lot. Today my co-worker told me about her narcissistic cousin and how he did some women wrong. I thought, "what a pathetic loser. I feel sorry for those women". Then I thought, my ex N isn't any better. I was with a loser too. It's a good thing I am no longer.
Give it some time. As you learn more about Ns and begin to heal, you will be happy without him.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-18 19:27:49 Narcissus vonEgo

You, of course, know that you are an idiot... Give yourself at least that much little credit.

You have not pointed out any "wrong" this man has done. He seems to have been completely honest with you, whereas you were, in fact deceitful with your husband. You are so obsessed with him that you cannot stop thinking of him - even if it's "hatred" -- but really, "hatred" isn't the opposite of "love" - it's really the same thing... the TRUE opposite of "love" is "INDIFFERENCE" - Love and Hate are both the same emotion, and that emotion is called "caring a lot".

You don't HATE him - you HATE the fact that you can't POSSESS him. You HATE the fact that you cannot CONTROL him. You HATE him NOT BEING WITH YOU. And you HATE YOURSELF for it. But you will jump into bed with him any opportunity you get. If you say this is not so, you know you are only deceiving yourself.

You HATE YOURSELF, RE2 - but in your self-pity and in licking your wounds so caressingly, you are SO VERY IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF at the same time.

You see, RE2 - YOU are a Narcissist, too - but in your self-delusion, you manifest "low self-esteem" - but in your "low self-esteem", your pomposity of grandeur is ever more obvious. You judge yourself BETTER than him, don't you... of YES, RE2 - you are such a GOOD PERSON, inside, aren't you... Not only do you love judging others, RE2 - you love judging YOURSELF. Keep doing it, if you like. It just makes you that much easier to USE.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-02-26 02:09:33 colleen - thought he was truly in love with me

I met my N husband over 18yrs ago. We had an affair while I was still in a relationship with the father of my children. During the affair he made me feel so special, but I eventually broke it off with him and he seemed so devastated.
Years later I seperated from the father of my children and then out of the blue i get a phone call from the man I had the affair with. We began a relationship,he made me feel so special, told me he would shower me with gold and he did, bought me a new car,told me that I was his soul mate, and that I was the only person he had ever truly loved. Mind you he had been in 3 long term relationships before me. I was his 3rd wife,but he didnt marry one of his previous relationships,so all up he had 4 long term relationships. Around 3 months into the relationship his true colours began to emerge. He physically assaulted my 16yr old son. He was asked to leave at this time and he did same. I should have seen the warning signs then but I dismissed it. All was forgiven. Not long after he had asked me to come and do some housework for him, so while i was dusting away, I found a card that was given to him by his previous wife. It stated how much she loved him, blah blah blah. This card was not there the previous week when I had dusted. i thought this was strange and mentioned it to him, he stated he didnt know how it got there. (MIND GAMES) We eventually married and the day after, on our honeymoon, we were sitting in a restaurant having breakfast and he was admiring this other women, couldnt take his eyes off her, I asked him what he was doing and he said he was inquisative as to what nationality she was. The honeymoon was a disaster. He made me feel so unloved and I had wished that I was back home again. Eventually he had assaulted all of my 3 children and myself. I remember another time it was New yrs eve and we were partying with the next door neibours, I had a little to much to drink, so i retired to bed hopng that I would wake before news years eve to celebrate it with my husband. I did wake later and went back into the party only to realise new yr had come and gone. I asked my N husband why he didnt come and wake me prior to celebrate with him, he said he thought he would let me sleep.I thought this was strange him not wanting to celebrate the new year with his wife. Throughout the relationship, I new there was something wrong with him. Another mind game he played was we were in conflict one time so he moved in down to our granny flat, we have 2 houses on the one property. He had been working so i offered to do his washing. He handed his clothes basket to me, and out of the washing I pulled out a pair of female undies and I knew that they belonged to my daughter. so when no was at home my N husband had gone into my daughers room and taken her underpants. When I confronted him about the undies, he told me he had no idea as to how they got into his washing basket, and then he told me I was mad and to get over it, but he was the only one living down the back house at the time. He repeated the same scenario months later but i dismissed it knowing that he was playing mind games again, there are lots of other mind games he used to play but to many to mention. I remember having sex with N at one time and because i didnt orgasm he told me how I made him feel so inadequate. . Three weeks before he left I went to the net to try and find something to look up his behaviour and when I came across the word Narcissist it described my husband down to a t. I couldnt believe that I was reading all about my N husband. Hes been gone now for over a month and moved into his own house. For two weeks after he left, he msg me in regards to renting the second house out and for him to collect all of the money from the rent and that it would all go to him. I sought legal aid and told him that I was the title deed owner and he was not to step 1 foot onto the property, and if he was to push the issue I could land him in big strife. He has backed into a corner now as the illegal things that he has done in the past could land him in jail and also cause him great financial debt if i were to open my mouth. He also doesnt know that I have the paper work to back up my story so hes laying quiet now. Im a 100% sure he has another women in his life and that i had met her at a previous xmas party with my husband. She flirted with him in front me. She also works with him. so she knows that I am married to him. Well all i can say is good luck to the pair of them and yes I miss Him ,but he wiil never have the privaledge of being in my company again. Im doing well and he has done me a favour by leaving me.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-02-10 05:36:44 Anonymous

I'm starting to wonder if all men are like this, in some way or another. Some being worse than others?

I have been in three long term relationships and they all start out beautiful, the courting stage. Then end with resentment and betrayal. Is our generation of woman just stronger and have the ability to walk away from a bad relationship then they have in the past?

Thinking about it, most of my friends who are married or in long term relationships seem to be unhappy or do not feel they are treated with respect by their spouse. I work with some men that say awful things about their wives. But I also work with a few men that may make comments here and their, but are loyal and respectful of their marriage.

I really think this disorder is in all men (woman also), some being much worse than others. Some able to control it better than others.
- 0
- 1
Reply

|2012-02-10 05:43:55 Anonymous

It is up to the woman to decide if they want to stay and suffer the roller coaster ride of abuse, or get out of the situation and deal with rejection and loss for a shorter period of time.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-02-12 22:05:30 Anonymous - Re: I'm starting to wonder

No not all people are like this. The deal is that unfortunately we aren't in control of our lives as children and about 50-60% of us are growing up in broken homes now. When you experience damage as a child it becomes your reality and you seek it out, unconsciously. We become so ingrained in thought patterns and behaviors that even when we strive to free ourselves from the lives our relatives led, we end up being tricked into others lies.
Don't give up on yourself, if you are able to be objective and see that the situation is unhealthy, get out and get help. Seek group therapy or counseling. Learn the patterns of abusive men. Of course all women want the handsome smart funny alpha male that will sweep her off her feet, but he will just as fast drop you to the floor. Learn how to communicate effectively and work through the current and past hurts in your life, look for the true value of someone if you date again, not just the appealing parts.... xo
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-18 20:04:02 TINA - Hope around the corner

I was with my N for 5 and half years and we have 2 children together.First 3 months were beautiful and loving.He showered me with charm and gifts.I started to see it then 3 months into it.I didn't know i was 22 at the time.I noticed after my first child was born the need for him to always be away on these jobs in different cities.But he would always come back like every 3 months.Birthdays some holidays.It seemed like whatever i was doing never mattered.He called everyday.Sent money every month.So then he lands a stable job in one city after 4 years and tells me he has a house and everything.I found out he had a set of twins and she was living there.we were pregnant at the same time.he kept it from me for two years.She's the one who told me.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-18 13:07:47 viki - I totally relate

I met my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years and it was like a fairytale. We totally connected, talked for hours (in retrospect it was him always talking about himself and his ex) we had great sex and laughs and fun. But soon into the relationship the nitpicking and dissecting my personality started. The hurtful comments and observations. For instance his friends would be surprised he was dating me because they were used to seeing him with a model (his ex) Accusing me of being jealous of his ex after such comments when I was really just hurt as to why he would say that. Telling me I was not sexy but countering that with an explanation that made no sense. Why say that? Always pointing out what I do not do correctly, how my perception of things was what was wrong, not his behavior. He had absolutely no filter for what was appropriate or not. Constantly talking about other women, whether it was at work or a gig or new job, he always had to relate back to me how EVERYONE loved him, admired him, and how wonderful he is. But the truly disturbing thing is he convinced himself he wanted a strong opinionated feminist woman, but if you disagreed, or showed disapproval over anything he said and did, he was irrational, would not let you talk, would actually shush me, and tell me what I thought and felt, feeling his wordly advice and opinion were needed in all things. He is like this with everyone, he feels he knows everything and does not know why, but it is important to him that he save you, show you the way, help you be a better person, but he does not see the abuse of it. I let him move in with me after only 6 weeks, stupidly, and supported him and his daughter who was at my place every other weekend. He sat around barely looking for work, I felt he felt he was above that, having been in a famous band when he was young and having had his "moment". But I started to change. I could not be this strong independent person or it was over between us, regardless of his claim to wanting that. He would announce he was seeing the "real" me and it was over, every time we had a simple disagreement where I was trying to point out some truths about himself. So eventually I just started not being myself to survive. I knew I wanted out but I did not know how to do it. I am a very strong proud person and was constantly confused as to why this person would say I was awesome and he loved me more than anything in one breath then pick me apart and put me down in another breath. He finally went to far, back in July of 2010 and I tossed him out. His behavior afterwards was typical, taking no responsibility or blame, lying, blaming me, talk talk talking but saying nothing. HIs recounting of every single fight we had was completely ass backwards, reinvented and wrong. NO apology, no truth, on a dating site weeks later, and still to this day.

I am a strong person and I deal with it, and I am GLAD it is over, he tried to get me to let him move back in back in November but I am a very strong person who tends to listen to the brain over the heart, and we ended up getting in another fight that he started, being an overbearing ass, and of course denying it afterwards, making me out to be the bad person who just tossed him out for no reason, again. It is laughable if it were not tragic. But even 7 months later I have days where I realized I got lost in this and am still finding my way back. I go out and have friends but I have NO interest in dating. I am fine when I am out and find I almost crash and burn when I am in my apartment alone, and I try and NOT think about it, only in a way that points out the obvious and that the end result is a GOOD thing, but the heart has a way of holding on.

For me it is a need to have him just once admit he is wrong. That he wronged his ex, his daughter (who has not talked to him in over a year) and me. IT is some form of closure for me that I know I will never get. He has a script he has written for his life, which isn't real, and he is just repeating it again on a dating site trying to find something and someone who he can use to make himself feel like the important big man that he is not. That is all it was, he is desperate to replace what he feels he lost with his ex, who tolerated his abuse for 20 years!!!

It will pass, like everything does. Time.
- 2
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-18 16:55:45 Mm - My god

I feel like I wrote this entire post. I'm scared that this might be my future. But I love him so much. The only difference is that he has a great job and is very responsible and takes care everything. On paper he's great but his personality is exactly the same. I'm so sad about this. I mean do these types ever see or feel remorse for the emotional damage they cause?
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-18 18:04:54 Anonymous

unfortunately they believe everything they say, thinking that they have a world of knowledge and opinions to impart on you, whether you want to hear them or not and they believe all their own lies, and will never ever apologize. i have proof of my ex lying, absolute proof, in emails and pictures, and he still will say "the things you say I did just did not happen" It is as though he just cannot ever admit fault. he claims his marraige ending was ALL her fault of course, he was perfect. he lost his child because he was perfect .... he does not function well because he abhors structure of any kind and that includes work, and as long as you are bubly and helpful and easy going everything can be ok. but who can live that way? I have to be able to be me, for real, and that means expressing my views, opinions and beliefs, whether positive or negative. i honestly just thought he was mentally unstable after we split up but I realize now he is just a dysfunctional narcissist, who is obsessed with finding the PERFECT relationship. Who knows about your guy .... watch for the signs@@@
- 1
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-18 20:20:02 Narcissus vonEgo - Dysfunctional

Yes, I think you hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD with that one - DYSFUNCTIONAL Narcissists seek PERFECTION, whereas FUNCTIONAL Narcissists merely seek EXCELLENCE...! There IS a difference, you know...

Of course, in saying, "I have to be me for real" and in insisting on the importance of expressing your "opinions and beliefs", you are revealing yourself to be a Narcissist, too. Good for you! Be PROUD! And I TRUST you to be a FUNCTIONAL one.

NvE
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-02-18 01:47:57 Anonymous - My Story Too

Your story resembles mine to a "T". From the outside, my guy seems like such a great person. But he has the same false persona as your guy had. He hates everything. But anything he likes has to be described as "the best thing ever". Anything associated with him was gospel, anything else was total shit, including things important to me - how important my heritage was to me, sense of family, etc. was all so stupid in his eyes. I was the one always wrong; I was the one who needing fixing, and it was his job to make me see the light; and I was the one who was "lucky" to have someone like him love me so much (as if I'm this heinous and unlovable human being). I had a normal, stable childhood; he did not, finding out he was adopted and then having his father leave the family high and dry. Yet, I'm the one needing fixing all because I was promiscuous in my early adult years, trying to find my self worth the wrong way. It got to a point 3 months in were I made the mistake of lying to him about my past, in order to keep myself on this pedestal he had put me on. He took that as the ultimate betrayal, I still hear about it 6 months later, how I lied to him. Never let it down. But yet call him out on the insulting comments, his conceitedness, indifference to my feelings and overall negativity, he insists that I'm too sensitive and if I'm supposedly so hurt over little things like that, I should remember how badly I hurt him when I lied that ONE TIME. F-ing ASSHOLE!!! I tried so hard to make it work, even after trying to leave once before - he sucked me back in. I couldn't bear to have my soul die a little more each day. I helped take care of his son, that was a woman's role in his opinion. He would hardly lift a finger to do activities with us as a family, which he so badly needed his son to experience. I ended up spending more time with his son than he did. His reasoning was that he has had 8 years of quality time with his son under his belt, it was always "next week I/we will". Probably spent the time courting another unsuspecting female behind my back. I should mention that that is how we met in the first place (I'm very ashamed to say)...he courted me while in an unhappy marriage and his wife was only 3 months pregnant. I didn't know of this in the beginning, only after the hooks were set into me. I'm so STUPID for staying after finding out! Was made to believe that he only married her so that his son could have a mother. I soon came to realize that as soon as I fulfilled that role, he withdrew and became distant. I ended it this week. I snapped and just disappeared. Let him tell everyone that I'm psycho, I don't care. The only way out for me was to create one. Might I add he has still yet to give his wife the divorce papers to sign. His daughter is going to be 3 months old soon. I am so THANKFUL to finally be out of that situation. I have initiated the NO CONTACT rule. But I feel so much shame, hurt and confusion. I'm left broke, unemployed (he and I had started a business together that didn't have much success) and emotionally spent. But I can start again. And like you, I suspect I will have NO desire to be in a relationship for a long time. I'm still young and have time to wait.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-03-16 23:42:57 darren - let´s not depend on narcissists!!!!!!!!!!!

After a very short yet intense affair with a N, i felt so sad and broken-hearted i decided to resume psychotherapy.
the first question my councellor asked me after listening to my story was what was my role in that relationship? he said i was dependent...on him of course, on the totally out of line things he said or didn't say to mem, on the reasons why he would act that way and so forth.
that was an eye opener for me. me being a dependent person!!! i totally hated the idea of being like that! but that realization made me feel a bit relieved, better...
now the important thing is US people and why we get emotionally attached to such kind of people.
narcissists will always be out there.
let us not depend on them any more!!!!
and don't do what i did: blaming myself for falling for such an asshole. at first they are usually charming and very attractive and they do know it.
it´s better to think of them as mentally and emotionally challenged people who can ONLY act that way. it's the only way they know. i´t not against you, it´s the way they act towards everyone.
by the way, i guess i was kind of "lucky" when he admitted to being a sad person deep inside.
i thought, well, at least he´s not having a good time doing what he does. and he also confessed to being an unfaithful person and that he had been called cruel too. so, those things were red caution signs for me.
actually, we might as well take pity on them and last, RUN AWAY FROM THEM ASAP. realize the world is plenty of other healthier people ready to love you as a person, not an object.
hope this helps.
lots of love for all those trying to get better and recover!!!
- 1
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-14 21:26:43 A - Discovering and dealing with it

This website has been such an eye opener! Thank you! I ended a marriage which never really worked out and when I was ready to date again, I met the most gorgeous, charming, intelligent and interesting man through a dating site. He was everything I looked for in a man, sweet, affectionate, showered me with attention, would call just to hear my voice several times in the day. Our compatibility was amazing, we could talk for hours on end, he was so well read, a walking encyclopedia on music, art, philosophy and I was totally hooked. I had never met a more fascinating man! I was so attracted to him on every level and he could make me melt in 5 seconds!
Within the first couple of months of dating, one day he was so withdrawn and sad and I had to drag it out of him on what was bothering him. He told me his business had a cash flow problem and that he couldn't be in a relationship with me as he wanted to give me the world and wanted to spoil and pamper his lady but was not in a position too. I was so distraught as I was so in love with him. I told him not to worry and I was there for him. I loaned him over $20,000 which was all of my savings, plus I borrowed money to bail him out. I did this in good faith not realising I was being manipulated. (My stupidity!)
Then the first cracks in his personality started showing. He would go from warm and loving to violent abusive rages using language which left me reeling in shock. I couldn't believe that this was the same charming sensitive man I was in love with. There was a pattern, he would blow up on any little thing, if I called him 5 minutes late, or if my phone was busy and I didn't answer immediately. He would threaten to leave me over little things like this on a weekly basis. I was walking on egg shells. The confident, happy, glowing person I was just disappeared. He would put me down constantly about my looks and tell me about the women he had dated who were younger and more beautiful than me. I tried not to let it affect me, but the damage was slow and steady to lower my self esteem.
I still loved him, more than I had ever loved any man and overlooked the things that hurt me. I tried to be mature and stable in a relationship that was volatile. There was constant pity play which worked on me, blaming me for every fault in his life, abuses when he had a bad day, my kindness and bank balance being exploited to help him as he needed it to build a future for 'us'. I am so embarassed as to how I could have been so dumb as his plan was obviously to con me out of as much money as he could.
I had no idea that he might be a N and discovered this only when I read this website. It was like an eye opener for me and I realized what a scary relationship I had gotten into. I read what everyone wrote about 'no contact' and broke up with him over the phone very gently, with no blame expect that he was right all along and that he deserved someone younger and prettier.
I have never been in so much internal pain as what I went through in this relationship. It was so difficult to wake up everyday and not miss him and the illusion of love that I had with him. Everyday it has been a struggle to be happy and heal. I haven't been able to sleep and this has taken a toll on my health. My family has been supportive and lifted my spirits. Of course he tried reaching out to me everyday, but I blocked his calls. He still writes beautiful poetic letters conveying his undying love. I guess he is missing his personal ATM. Today I can see how shallow his words were, but I did fall for them initially.
Where am I now? Am trying to heal but to be honest something in me in broken. I am such a loving person, but I don't think I can ever trust or love again after this. But I am trying to find a smile again.
- 2
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-15 02:19:12 Lloyd - A - Discovering and dealing with it

A,
I understand and feel your pain. I could write the same story of my experience with my ex wife who is a mean hearted N. After 2 years I still have not fully recovered. It takes time to heal very deep emotional wounds. What helps is knowing the person I loved was all a fake. It took me 13 years to finally realize, the lies,verbal abuse,guilt trips all of the things N's try and dump on you would never change. As you said "the illusion of love that I had" was just that an illusion based on a person who coned me into thinking she could be in a loving relationship. The good thing for us is we got away from our N. I will heal and I can still see myself loving another in the future. As for our Ns...well they are stuck right where they are at and will never now anything other than the misery and turmoil that is constantly present in their lives. Your OK, not broken but deeply hurt. You will need time to sort through all of this. I spent time understanding why N behave like they do in a marriage that helped a great deal. As for today, I'm still not seeing anyone and I'm OK with that for now. I call it my period for regaining my sense of who I am. Like you I am a loving person and the more I understand N's helps to heal my wounds. Don't rush the healing process everyone of us are different. You may find in a short period of time you can put this all behind you or it may take longer like me, but you will heal. Good luck, if you need to talk drop me a line.
- 0
- 1
Reply

|2012-01-18 18:08:24 me

I know how you feel, it has been 7 months for me and although I realize his N personality was abusive and unhealthy, and I am happy it is over, I was very much in love with him and it hurt having to let him go. But you know what? I did it for me, because I love me more.
- 0
- 0
Reply

|2012-01-10 22:13:23 Zat - Chantel- zat

Hi Chantel,
Wow, your story is very similar to mine. To cut a long 11 year marriage short... After the 11 year rollercoaster of extremely bad behaviour and manipulation my suspicions of an affair were strong and I had found hidden away his log in details for two dating sites which he was looking for an affair along with a second mobile phone hidden away as well. I was given a few poor excuses as to why he was searching dating sites and for the phone and I asked him to leave. It's been nearly six months now, the first five months nothing but verbal venom came out of him and now he is sending me loving texts and telling me he misses me and wants me back... And move back in with me (his rent lease runs out next week). He almost makes me feel like the nasty weirdo whe kicked this lovely sweet man out. He says that I must forgive him and give him a second chance, we all make mistakes and we must now work on our marriage.
He just sent me a text saying he misses me with a photo of him smiling with photos of us in the background. I asked him what he missed and his reply was to "stop being difficult and realize we all make mistakes".... He sent him the same text again but I think he is struggling with the answer....
Sad thing is, he is so good at manipulation that I even feel like I should let him back in and believe he can change into a good man???
- 0
- 0
Reply

Main Menu

Search from this website

Popular

Latest - May, 2012

Love makes one vulnerable

Who's Online

Login

Follow on Facebook

Latest Comments

Most Commented