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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.

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Dear Friend,

I am sorry to hear about your difficult situation. I know exactly how you are feeling. You feel you love your husband strongly and you want to believe him when he says he loves you, but a voice inside you is telling you not to trust him, because he has already betrayed you once in past. Have you read this article of different phases one must go through in order to recover after cheating: How to get over cheating? It is hard to get over cheating first time when it happens. It is possible to learn to trust again after cheating has occurred, if the cheating spouse is genuinely sorry and is willing to work in order to restore the trust. This usually takes 1-2 years. To read more about the ways to recover after cheating, visit page Recovery after Cheating and Narcissism.

However, if cheating occurs again, the consequences are a lot worse. The trust gets broken again and it is very hard to restore it second time. It takes several years of hard work and commitment to restore the trust after second betrayal. This is the reason why many people end up having a divorce if cheating occurs again. It is very stressful to live with a person one cannot trust fully. Many people simply give up, they do not want to live in constant doubt and insecurity, and who could blame them?

Please do not understand me wrong, I am not saying your only option is to end the relationship. But I do wish to be very frank with you: If you decide to stay and try to restore the trust after this second betrayal, it will be more difficult than during the first time. It may be that you are never able to trust your husband fully. If you can accept the fact that you may never be able to trust your husband completely and if you can live with that, you have a chance to have a fairly good life with your husband. You alone know if you are the kind of a person who can live that kind of life, with that kind of uncertainty. Most people feel they cannot and they end up leaving, or then they remain in their relationship, living an unhappy, stressed and nervous life, anticipating the cheating to reoccur.

In a way it is the same situation as with death: We never know when we must part from our beloved ones, they might die unexpectedly, they might become terminally ill, they might leave us for someone else... These things can happen in life. If it does not happen to us, it can happen to our neighbor. Infidelity is so common in this world that it is not unexpected if we experience it in some form during our lives. This does not mean that it should not hurt if someone betrays us. It always hurts tremendously, especially if the person who lets us down is someone we love. We would not be humans if we did not feel hurt.

Now let me say some positive points regarding your situation. You said that your husband cheated on you second time in 2007 and according to him, the incident only lasted few minutes. Of course it is impossible for you to know the truth about the matter, and in the end the duration of the incident is irrelevant. You also cannot know if that happened more than one time. But let us assume that it did happen only one time. Even that is one time too much. It shows your husband was not able to control himself.

However, there are other points to consider as well. You also asked is there some logical explanation as to why your husband cheated. Let us next discuss these matters and other relevant points that help you to decide where to go from here. (Click the link below to read the rest of this story).

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Dear Friend, I am glad you found my website and shared your story. I recommend you to familiarize yourself with the articles on this site, they will help you to deal with your negative emotions related to this matter. You can read more about the biological basis of the emotions and how to learn to deal with them from this page: Recovery after Cheating and Narcissism. Please feel free to write back to me anytime you want. I would be happy to help you to get over this difficult period in your life.

Warm hug,
- Maria

If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it