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A narcissist can feel happy when a narcissist has been helping someone. The source of this happiness is not the fact that the person who received help feels happy, but the fact that Narcissist was able to appear as someone with a good heart, someone who is caring, divine etc when Narcissist was helping someone else. A narcissist is loving the feeling a narcissist gets when a narcissist thinks he or she has been helping someone and that this person and also other people are aware that a narcissist has been doing "good deeds". So, again it all boils down to Narcissist, not to the person who received help. This is natural behavior for a narcissist, who cannot genuinely care about anyone but himself or herself.
Feeling good about oneself, that is what happiness is all about for a narcissist. If a narcissist feels something is lifting the personal value of a narcissist in the eyes of the others, whatever that thing is it is making a narcissist feel happy. It can be helping someone less fortunate, bragging about the achievements of a narcissist or achievements of someone, who a narcissist is related to in such a way that a narcissist has actually contributed to those achievements (like children of a narcissist, or colleagues of a narcissist, of even friends of a narcissist). If one realizes this, it is actually quite easy to manipulate a narcissist, since narcissists are so shallow and superficial that they usually fail to see if someone is praising them for real or is only putting up an act to fool a narcissist in order to achieve some personal benefit. Vanity makes person very vulnerable, and the vanity of a narcissist is greater than that of anyone else. If you keep this in mind, you can pull the strings and control a narcissist, at list to certain extent.Haven't read all of the notes on here yet. So am not sure if ya'll have experienced the side of the narc when you have serious health problems. Boy, that's a grand introduction to the world of narcissism!! WHEW...... I was lying in a hospital bed in a neck brace when my brother called me to let me know that he called my husband (who was working out of town)to inform him that I was being hospitalized for seizures associated with a rare disease I have. We'd been married 6 yrs at that time. My husband told him that he was through with me and that I wasn't his problem anymore. This was right before that Thanksgiving. There was no further contact. He refused to have anything to do with me, yet he spent Thanksgiving with his family like it was perfectly ok and normal to do that. Then right before that Christmas, he "cried" wanting to come back and work things out. Hell, I didn't do anything wrong. I was still trying to figure out what the heck happened for him to do what he did. But it was turned around on me in a way that I was supposed to fix the "problems". In reality, he was contacting women who were "old friends" via Facebook (which, by the way, seems to be such a drug for narcs)during that October and November - his demeanor suddenly changed and I had a gut feeling and started tracking his email communications. Plus he was spending TONS of money and had nothing to show for it. His reply to a marriage counselor was, "Guess I ate well." At that time, I was told by the therapist that it would be up to me to put his actions in the past and "move ahead". How do you move ahead when you still have NO IDEA what his reasoning is for his actions. There is NO reasoning with a narc. And that is a FACT. Last Christmas and New Year, I spent most of my time with a huge blood clot in my jugular and was hospitalized for that. My doctor made me call my family in. I DIDN"T want to call my husband, but was advised to do so. He dropped everything and go to the hospital. My med port wasn't working right, so the med team was working on me for some time trying to find good veins to get the blood thinners in me. He stayed at the hospital maybe 2 hours, and then left. He'd promised my friend he'd stay overnight with me, and told her she didn't need to come there because the weather was bad. When she called him back later to see how I was doing, he told her I was okay and that he was heading to the house after he visited his cousin for a few hours. She said she cried for me and was so mad at him. In other words, it wouldn't have mattered if I would have died in his eyes. But he went around telling everyone that he was taking care of me. He went hunting most of the days I was in the hospital. The neighbors couldn't believe his actions. He talked about how much money he was making and that his job was dangerous, but that he was doing it all for me. What a saint!And then 3 days before this Christmas right after my brother was released from the hospital with kidney surgery for cancer, my husband showed up with his brother-in-law (who is also a narcissisist) and told me he wanted a divorce and that he had a lawyer (which he didn't at that time). He got his personal truck keys, went throughout the house and got all of his guns and then left. He wouldn't talk to me, and I had NO IDEA what the heck was going on - again. He was supposedly "deathly ill" on the job site and probably wouldn't make it home for Christmas even though he put in for it. He'd just been home the month before for 3 weeks and acted VERY kind and loving, but odd. With his latest loving act, I made sure I had all of my ducks in a row. Narcs don't know what they feel, so they desperately try to maintain their "victim" status with their families and friends. His family are as twisted as he is, and they enable his rages, tantrums, and his cold, crazy behavior. So I'm staying calm, turning to my faith, and treasuring my family, friends, and the hope that there will be a better chapter for my life around the corner. My counselor enlightened me that my narc husband was drawn to me in the beginning because I was a strong, independent woman with a good job who was comfortable in my own skin, and had a sincere, strong faith in God, had loving parents who raised a pretty normal and great group of kids. Everything he wasn't or had experienced. And when my health became worse and I became disabled, he felt like the victim because he then found a very good paying job and was away from home. He reminded me all the time that he was working his dangerous job for me and that everything he did was for me. What a SAINT and MARTYR!! But you know what, I don't have to walk on eggshells anymore. I'm able to write again without writer's block. I feel the grace of God all around me. I waited until I was in my early 30s to marry, and boy did he charm his way into my life. I'm embarrassed to admit that I allowed myself to be conned. I said my vows for life. And Narcs don't acknowledge commitment. They're not capable. They always want the next best thing or think the grass is greener on the other side. There is no sense of blessings or gratefullness for what they have. They get bored easily with everything. I'm too old and too good for their sick and twisted lifestyles. Life is too short to be drained by such a toxic personality. My narc has exited the building and all I can say is, "Thank you, Lord." And now begins the new chapter in my life. I can spot a narc a mile away now. What a way to be educated! Good luck with his next victim. 
So I found my husbands lover in m...